ANYONE FOR CRICKET?
ANYONE FOR CRICKET? Is a British expression that is traditionally used to put an end to an awkward moment.
Cricket Mortimer, is Oprah, Ellen, Chelsea rolled into one. The best and worse of all worlds. She is a megastar, the most popular figure on TV and all social media. Her primetime daytime talk show, Anyone for Cricket? is the highest rated show in history. She has the nation in the palm of her hand, and thus has a more effective platform than even the US president. Her personal assistant, Paige, an outspoken lesbian feminist, who preaches by means of her T-shirt scripture, siphons current affairs through Cricket, subtly sculpting the politics of the show. Paige is also in love with an oblivious Cricket. Behind the scenes, we witness celebrity in its darkest hour. Cricket is rarely sober, approachable or indeed functional without her entourage of sycophants and industry psychopaths.
The producer, Hudson Kallman, presides over each show, from the overhead control room, as God to Cricket’s Jesus, manipulating the emotional thermometer. Meadow is Cricket’s hair/make-up/guru, who spoon-feeds her the Hollywood dogma of the day, with a shot of Blondies. Sashimi nibbling Sunny Steinway, is the petite powerhouse network exec, Cricket is her nemesis and ratings maker. Charles Deamon, is the network’s dashing news anchor, think Matt Lauer. Among his harem is Cricket, and the nuances of their covert affair is a narcissist’s divine deviance. And this is all in a day’s work. Olivia is Cricket’s precocious 10 year-old who along with her Royal nanny/governess are parenting Cricket Absolutely Fabulously. Millicent Mortimer, visits from West Palm Beach often, to escape the “geriatrics in micro bathing suits with nail fungus and bridge breath.”
In the pilot we establish the number one show on TV, unleashing the infinite formula, of pre production notes, influenced by Paige, Meadow and the stimulants, the show itself, with guests, current events and celebs. And the explosive ratings aftermath. Fiendishly toying with the topic of the day, hash-tags, split seconds of fame, and media meltdowns, while simultaneously reflecting this “world view” in the microcosm of Cricket’s dysfunctional world.
Who doesn’t wonder what Oprah’s life is really like? How Chelsea Handler can look that good with a blood alcohol level of .40%? And is Ellen really kind to one another? Anyone for Cricket? is The National Enquirer of comedies. But without the shame of having to put it in your cart in line at the grocery store.